Sunday, July 11, 2010

LOVE- The Eternal Mystery

The basic instincts of love start blossoming from the very early years of one’s life. And the situation hardly changes over time as one attains maturity, as love, in its purest form, is as pious as a kid’s heart and is not even touched by the years of lust and greed and selfishness spent and acknowledged by the person. A very interesting incident which incited this thought process in my mind happened in my mother’s music class. Three kids, Shubh, Sidhart and Arpita, seven, five and three years old respectively, were playfully engaged. What I initially observed that Arpita showed signs of interest towards Sidhart, who was, apart from the fact that he was sitting next to her, was by far much smart and handsome as compared to Shubh. This guy was fair, intelligent and talked smartly. The lady was very easily attracted to this lad and wanted to start a conversation. The guy talked, very casually, not taking much interest. The lady was apparently happy, but somehow, her face showed signs of being disheartened, being incomplete. Some moments later, Shubh joined the gang and then ensued a joyous event for the girl as he was very caring and was affectionate towards the girl. The girl started developing a liking for this guy.
Although all three of them were playing together, the girl showed bonding with Shubh. The girl changed. Yes, she used to be a very shy girl and seldom used to talk and used to sit all alone, very quiet. But now she was talking, chirping vehemently like a tweety, making quite a noise. A noise, which arose out of happiness. And Shubh too enjoyed her company. But the noise( happiness) of the girl was quite disturbing to the class and I(external agent/parents/situation) made them part. Yes, I made Shubh sit alone at a far corner of the room. Shubh, sat there, constantly staring at the girl, recollecting the happy moments, cursing me, and trying somehow to maintain a communication. The girl however sat alone, dejected, and didn’t try to remain in contact with Shubh( probably a ‘Fear Factor’ played an important role in this peculiar behavior; was the girl’s behavior forced?). Few moments later, after getting tired of her solitude(or was it to divert her thoughts to better and acceptable things in life?) she started getting involved with Sidhart, who was somehow reciprocating sometimes, but shoving her aside sometimes, but things were not the way they were with Shubh. After some playful moments, Sidhart abandoned her and went to sit beside Shubh. They talked merrily, not reflecting a bit about the tiff caused by a girl in between them. But still, Shubh longed for Arpita, though it was difficult to ascertain what went in Arpita’s mind as she became the ever quiet Arpita again. Sidhart’s dad came to pick him up. He went away, happily forgetting all that he had left behind, a broken heart and ever-longing eyes! Few moments later, Mother(Divine Intervention/good luck/God’s grace) asked Shubh to drop Arpita home( a chance for Arpita and Shubh to be close again, but this time the scenario being totally different, spatially and temporally) On their way, Arpita resisted and persistently insisted that she should be left alone. But Shubh’s perseverance paid, and after lot of shoving and pushing, they finally went together, hand in hand…….

The story seems too much like a present day romantic movie. But a lot of sincere and consistent facts come out if we carefully dissect the story and mould it to our day to day lives. There isn’t any vantage point to this situation, so, it’s better to analyze it in three different perspectives.

Starting with Sidhart, the evergreen playboy. Yes, undoubtedly he’s the one. Girls flock around him all the times and luring a girl is no Greek or Latin for him. There are many Sidharts in around us, the charm factor varying among different individuals. But all can be collectively labeled as playboys. And girls always get to them(they really need not work!), they are involved in multiple flings, but at the end of the day, they break many a heart, and end up themselves lonely. Yes, generally these persons don’t end up with the best they had procured, rather their family/love life ends up either in a compromise, or in solitude. He is always so puzzled with the term ‘Love’ that he keeps distance from it. So, for many of us Love is so easy to comprehend, but for him, it is tougher than rocket science!!
And there’s the sincere and honest lover, Shubh. He never gets the first notice, as he is an average guy, but with a heart of gold. He honestly loves and sticks to one girl. He understands love inside out. It takes him some effort to make his presence noticed. But once he is there, everyone, or at least the girl concerned knows that ‘he loveth best’. But situations aren’t always conducive to his fore. He faces difficulties in form of resistance from parents, or change of place due to some events in life and somehow he is no longer able to be in contact with his girl. They get separated. Some unlucky ones end their lives here, some are killed(honour-killings), some accept life as it is. But only very few move on with life, with the lamp of love still burning in their heart, waiting for some divine intervention to make them face to face again in life. Some lucky ones do get that boon, some perish soon. Some even don’t get the rough phase at all, but they are really difficult to find and most fortunate to be. But what is common in them that all these ‘Shubhs’ love sincerely, and keep loving till the end, and keep trying and even if they meet after say 40 years, the flame of love still burns in their heart enlightening their mind with hope. Some are lucky, some are not, and that probably has to do with their intensity of love. Something similar to the adage from the SRK starrer, Om Shanti Om,” kisi cheez ko pure dil se chaaho to saari kayenaat tumhe usse milane mein lag jati hai".
And there’s always the sufferer, call her Sita, call her Draupadi, call her Kunti, call her Sati or call her Arpita, she is all the same. Happy, she is never meant to be, at least not throughout. And it is because she is so complex, that it is impossible for us to understand her, what makes her really happy, what really does she like, whom truly does she desire? All we can make are mere speculations. At moment she seems happy with Sidhart, at some moment she is happy with Shubh, she sometimes longs for them in separation and sometimes completely evacuates her mind of any traces of them. She is the very complex woman that resides is every female form we encounter in our lives. And she is the one and the same, there are no extremes of Shubh and Sidhart in her case, she is both of them and yet she is none. We merely classify her according to our viewpoints and perspective, but she is the same inside, manifesting differently on the surface. And we can never fathom the depths of the ocean in her mind and heart. And thus we can never understand what truly a woman is…

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